*C.S. Lewis on Eternal Life*

Christianity asserts that every individual human being is going to live for ever, and this must be either true or false. Now there are a good many things which would not be worth bothering about if I were going to live only seventy years, but which I had better bother about very seriously if I am going to live for ever.
                                                                   - C.S. Lewis

LIFE and Death

'Most of us are frightened of dying because we don't know what it means to live. We don't know how to live, therefore we don't know how to die. As long as we are frightened of life we shall be frightened of death. The man who is not frightened of life is not frightened of being completely insecure for he understands that inwardly, psychologically, there is no security. When there is no security there is an endless movement and then life and death are the same. The man who lives without conflict, who lives with beauty and love, is not frightened of death because to love is to die.

If you die to everything you know, including your family, your memory, everything you have felt, then death is a purification, a rejuvenating process; then death brings innocence and it is only the innocent who are passionate, not the people who believe or who want to find out what happens after death.

To find out actually what takes place when you die you must die. This isn't a joke. You must die - not physically but psychologically, inwardly, die to the things you have cherished and to the things you are bitter about. If you have died to one of your pleasures, the smallest or the greatest, naturally, without any enforcement or argument, then you will know what it means to die. To die is to have a mind that is completely empty of itself, empty of its daily longing, pleasure; and agonies. Death is a renewal, a mutation, in which thought does not function at all because thought is old. When there is death there is something totally new. Freedom from the known is death, and then you are living.'
~Krishnamurti.

Walking on a Dream ~ Empire of the Sun

La-la-la-LOVE is LOUDER...........................

Dreams CAN and DO come true!

Or, "Ask and Ye Shall Receive!"

(Remind me to write about a similar experience I had several years ago. Involved $40 tho, not the lottery, LOL!!! ~ Kate)

An Auckland man has proved some dreams really do come true after dreaming his winning numbers - and then playing them to win $6.1 million on Lotto Powerball in last Saturday's draw.
The winner, who wishes to remain anonymous, is a regular Lotto player who picks his own numbers, but changes them from time to time.
A family spokesperson spoke to NZ Lotteries about the prophetic dream and the winner's reaction to his sudden luck.
"About five or six weeks ago, he dreamed of a set of Lotto numbers, so he changed his ticket to these new numbers - and what a result!
"He [the winner] called me up on Sunday saying he thought he'd won something, but he'd not heard all of the numbers. I looked them up on the internet for him and read them out while he checked them off, and he just kept saying 'yes, yes, yes' and we realised he'd got them all!
"It's pretty overwhelming winning such a large sum of money, right now he's just going to put it in the bank while he decides what he will be doing with it," said the spokesperson.
The winner bought his lucky ticket at St Lukes Lotto in Auckland. Their prize is made up of $142,857 from Lotto First Division and $6 million from Powerball First Division.

Article from Yahoo! News - Click Here!

~The Parking Space~

I phoned an old workmate and friend today to see how she was after hearing she had been in intensive care. Thankfully she is fine. Reminded me of the time, a couple of years or so back, when she used to pick me up for work every Monday to Thursday. Almost every day we would stop at the bakery near work for a feed, since we worked over the dinner hour. (And like I ever need an excuse to eat, LOL!) Almost every day we would have to drive up a side street by the bakery corner and park there, since parking spaces were hard to come by at this shopping centre. Occasionally we were lucky enough to squeeze into a park outside, or up the street a little, but usually it was the side street.

One particular day, as we were driving up the hill before turning right into the main street where the bakery was, I spontaneously said to my friend, "God, let there be a parking space for us ... See what Holy Spirit thinks of me." My friend, not being of any particularly spiritual persuasion probably thought I was out of my tree! (And it wouldn't be the first time, haha!) Anyhow, as we approached the main street and turned the corner both our mouths dropped to the floor. EVERY PARKING SPACE WAS VACANT! THERE WASN'T A CAR TO BE SEEN!!!

My friend seemed totally blown away and no one is ever more surprised than me when these things happen. Not sure what she made of it in the end, but I sure knew it was a miracle! Thank you Holy Spirit! :~D

Thank you Liberty and Sophie!

http://vimeo.com/31158841

How I Quit Smoking

Altho I experimented with cigarettes from quite a young age and was an on/off smoker, (mostly on in later years), I don't know if I was ever really chemically addicted, altho I do know I was psychologically addicted - BIG TIME!

It would have been around 1993, when I was about 29 or so, that I made a decision quite unrelated to smoking. I decided that I had had enuff of trying to do things "my way". It wasn't working. I made the decision to embrace the Truth, whatever that might be, rather than my truth. It wasn't an instant "fix", of any description, I still have pretty severe PTSD* to this day, but I was at least willing to be open. (Ok, a part of me was willing. The journey itself is not quite so straightforward. I have revisited this decision several times before and have experienced other miraculous events as a result.)

A few things happened after that. One thing I remember foremost was when I tie-dyed a sheet purple and hung it up at my window. One day, while lying in bed, I noticed what looked very much like the face of Christ. Above it and below it were two other "faces", one was almost ghostly, the other I can't recall now - maybe skeletal? I kinda wish now I'd kept it, but it eventually faded and I tossed the sheet out when it was no longer needed. I also don't think I took it as seriously as I would now.

The other thing that occurred was that I stopped smoking. I don't mean I gave up - I literally stopped! I was having my usual smoke in bed one morning, (yeah, yeah, I know, lol!), when I found myself musing that I didn't think I would be buying any more tobacco. I was down to the last of my packet and that was, indeed, my last. I didn't smoke again for about nine whole years! No withdrawl, nothing!!!

In 2002, having had another breakdown, I decided to make an effort to get out and be amongst people. I got a job working in a unique pre-loved clothing store called Mothballs. There I met Maria and we became good friends. She is a smoker and so I was eventually tempted to have one. After that I would smoke when I was with her and, of course, I couldn't smoke hers all the time so I would buy my own. I found that if I had it, I would smoke it, but I could take it or leave it. However, after being diagnosed with cancer earlier this year, I cannot bring myself to do it again. I reckon it's even crazier to do it if you're not addicted!

So that is how I stopped smoking. I am blessed to have had such an easy experience. I would hate to go thru what many smokers do when they give up. 

*Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

The Fridge~Part 2 (Does God do Upgrades?)

I think I'd had the fridge about two years when I began to feel disappointed that I hadn't chosen a fridge with self-defrosting freezer. I really struggle with regards to domestics, (long story - part of my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Not having to defrost the fridge ought to have been a no-brainer for me, lol! 'Never mind', I laughed to myself one day, 'maybe God does upgrades?'

A while later, I really don't recall how long exactly, I heard the same radio station were giving away Dave Dobbyn's new-at-the-time CD - one that I instantly wanted. This was their CD choice for that weekend's giveaway. Each person who won the CD for the weekend went into a draw for the appliance of the week, drawn on the following Monday. I wasn't at all concerned with that week's appliance, (a fridge apparently), I merely wanted the CD. This was a New Zealand-wide competition, so I was extra amazed when I got thru first pop and won! Wicked!!!

On the following Monday morning I was sitting on the loo with the phone beside me, when it rang. Of course, I wasn't expecting the radio station, hehe! There I was, on the loo, being recorded to go on air. Apparently I had won the appliance! When the announcer asked me if I knew what I had won, I said a fridge-freezer. He 'corrected' me and told me it was a fridge, so I imagined a small beer fridge or something similar. I decided I would sell it and the money would go towards a trip south and I would take a friend. Cool beans!!!

A few days later, when the store phoned to arrange delivery, I told them I already had a good fridge-freezer and asked if they would be willing to sell it for me on commission or something. The bloke on the phone asked me what type I had and informed me that this one was, indeed, a fridge-freezer, not just a fridge as the radio announcer had thought. He recommended that I keep the new one and sell the older one, since I would acquire a brand new warranty. Good thinking!!! Oh ... and then he informed me my new one would be almost exactly the same as the one I had, only this one was the latest model out, having only been available instore for about three months. He then informed me of the one and only difference between the two ... the newer one was ... you guessed it ... frost-free!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU GOD, tehe!

 I was blown away and overjoyed at what had happened. Yes, it's a 'thing', it's a 'gadget', it's a 'material object', but having lived without one entirely for some time, years prior, I knew it wasn't exactly a luxury. I was so greatful that I immediately decided to give the older one to a friend of mine who needed a new one but could not afford it. It seemed the logical thing to do, given how I had been blessed. So yes, God DOES do upgrades, LOL! 
Again, THANK YOU GOD!!!

Ponder this: 
If we're not meant to have late night snacks, then why is there a fridge light? 

The Fridge

Disclaimer: This is NOT Tabitha Alice, nor is it MY fridge, LOL!
(Just gimme the grapes!!!)

Ok, so I haven't started at the "beginning" and now I am about to skip the story about moving from the beach place, but this is another series of events that seems to want to be told now.

While I was living in the flat by the sea, I made an interesting discovery, or rather learned just how easy it was to be given what I needed, wanted, or neither in particular! What started off as an inkling years before, with intermittent experiences of 'uncannily' winning stuff, soon became what I am certain would fill at least an entire exercise book! I discovered that I could win stuff on radio stations with ease and often effortless endeavours. Often I would know I was going to win, or would make up my mind I was. I have several stories to tell about this rather lucrative period of my life, but one of the best ones was to do with a fridge-freezer, or perhaps a 25" colour tele with cabinet ... here goes ...

At the time I refer to, I only had a tiny fridge with freezer box that I had bought off a friend who was moving away. It got to the point where it was becoming inadequate but I really didn't know how I could afford a bigger one. Altho I had super cheap rent in my prime seaside spot, I wasn't working and just didn't have any real disposable cash. I decided I would probably like one of the 'slimline' ones ... not too big for one person. One Friday morning, as I lay in bed, I started scanning the dial on my radio, and as I passed one station I heard them announcing a competition to win a 25" colour television set with cabinet. My immediate thought was that I could probably swap it with the dealers for the fridge I wanted! Long-story-short, I got thru that morning to answer a question and be in the draw on the following Monday. The question, incidentally, tho I no longer remember it, was identical to one I had heard on a game show on the tele only days before. I had, strangely, taken particular notice otherwise I would not have known the answer.

~Fear man or LOVE God?~

Come the Monday morning, I was certain I was the winner, even to the point where I had my hand on my phone when it rang. Funny thing, no matter how much I won, I was always just so excited and greatful. Anyone listening would have thought it was my very first win ever! I was down at the radio station with morning tea for everyone only a short time later, to pick up the voucher and sort out the details for acquiring my prize.

When the store phoned me to deliver the tele I asked them about swapping for the fridge I wanted. They eventually gave me the go-ahead to choose whatever fridge-freezer I wanted to the value of the tele, ($1,500). The slimline fridge I wanted was only $1,050 at the time, so everyone was a winner!

Again, there is a "part two" of this story. Back soon ...

~Home by the Sea~ Part 2

Several months passed and, periodically, I would think about the flat by the sea. After a while, I really began to regret I hadn't taken it. (I didn't have my phone connected at the time, so hadn't even called the landlord to decline.) One day I made the simple decision that the next time I saw the flat advertised I would take it.

A short period later, maybe a week or so, (I honestly can't be accurate since time is so confusing to me), I decided to go into town and check out the local Saturday morning paper and use a public phone to make calls if I saw anything I was interested in. Again, I knew the top rent I was willing to pay which was very cheap but I had had my wishes granted many times before. I believed that anything was possible. 

That morning there were several flats, around the right price and location for me, one being thru a Real Estate agent and a couple of other private ones. I really thought I didn't want to go thru an agent, so I went off to look at the other two. Neither property was quite to my liking so I was about to head home when I decided to check out the one thru the agency after all. No harm in looking, right? When I called I could hardly believe my ears when the person on the end of the phone told me the address. I knew immediately my "prayer wishes" had been answered ... and so soon!

To finish the story, I did move in. (The agency accepted me.) The landlord had redecorated the place but kept the rent at its original low price. I particularly loved the layout of it. The person who had built it, back in 1972 or so, seemed to have had some taste. I lived there for about seven years, with the sun pouring in and the sea sounds and smells all around. The property had a fishpond and the gate that went straight onto the now famous foreshore. I don't drive and I was able to walk along the pathway into town and to the supermarket.

In case you hadn't guessed, my home has always been very important to me. :~)

God is good. :~D

*Check out my old album of related pics!* 

~Home by the Sea~

Ok, well I wanted to start at the beginning ... but then there are many beginnings. If I wait until "the time is right" I may never start. Instead I have decided to begin where I most want to. It's with a story that happened around fourteen years ago. (Holy crap, could it possibly be that long??!!!) It's one of many such experiences, tho it is one that is perhaps, the most "in your face" of any I have experienced. Or maybe it's a favourite of mine becoz it lead me to something really good? Dunno. Anyway, here goes ...

Fourteen years ago I was living in a rather dilapidated old house, divided into two flats. The rent was suitably cheap but it really wasn't helping with my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I knew my home was not the problem but merely a symptom, however I still felt it was time to move somewhere more comfortable. My decision was that I would not move until I found the place I really wanted.

One particular day, I was even more depressed than usual, feeling generally helpless and hopeless. I decided to go for a walk, tho not at all sure where to. I really didn't care. I began my walk and found myself down at the sea. I stood for a while looking out at the ocean, probably thinking how I'd be better off dead - the usual humdrum. Then it seemed to be time to head off again, but instead of retracing my footsteps back home, I started to wander along the street parallel to the sea. I had always wanted to live by the beach and had recently made a tape of sea sounds as a kind of "affirmation".

At this point I really didn't know what I was doing or why and, quite frankly, I didn't care. I walked a short distance along the street and found myself staring down a driveway. At the bottom of the driveway there appeared to be a large, tidy, seventies-style brick house. My spontaneous thought was, "God, there's gotta be something down there for me". That was it. There was nothing else left to do but walk home.

At a guess I would say it was approximately two weeks later when I was at a friend's house reading the To Let column in her newspaper and saw the ad. It was a private landlord with a central flat, $100 per week rent. That was exactly what I wanted. Central location and my top price was $100. Dearer than where I was currently living, but still remarkably cheap. I phoned and spoke to the wife. (She told me they had a daughter called Kate.) I arranged to meet her husband and to check the place out. The flat was located on the same street I had wandered along in my depressive haze, a short time previously.

It wasn't until I went to see the flat and meet the landlord that I remembered that other day. As I approached the street I wondered whether I would turn left, or turn right and trace the same steps I had taken the time before. It began dawning on me what was happening as I found myself walking in the same direction, checking the numbers on the letterboxes. As I approached the driveway where I had stood that day, I suddenly noticed three letterboxes together, indicating that what was down the driveway was not a large house, but an attractive block of three sunny flats, one upstairs and two downstairs. You guessed it! ... I had reached my destination!!!

Now, to cut a very long story a little shorter, I will say that I loved the flat very much and the landlord seemed great too. The location was excellent, to say the least, and I could have my cats with me. Rent was perfect - right on the button and extremely reasonable, particularly as there was a gate onto what would later  become the brand new foreshore development, providing a ten minute, seafront stroll to my grocery store and main shopping centre. However, anxiety about moving set in (PTSD) and I found myself wanting a smoke. (I had recently stopped smoking, another 'miraculous' story for later ...) I decided that now wasn't the time to move. (You're right ... I can't believe it either, but it just wasn't the right time ...) There's another part to this story but I am gonna carry it on another time, as soon as possible. 

FOOTNOTE: It kinda grieves me to write this, since the last six years have been so different, in some respects. I won't write any more on that now, or I will be jumping back and forwards over events, but I will eventually share it all. 

Thanks for reading. :~)